VanillaBeast: Retro Knock-Out!

Review

As you might already know by now, I am a big fan of retro games, and that is just because I was born in the 70’s and have seen firsthand the evolution of gaming. Interestingly, when I reflect on the era, I wasn’t as into it as I am now in my fifties. It is a sentimental feeling, and I appreciate even more what the developers were trying to achieve with the means at their disposal back then. The first ever boxing game I played was on the Atari 2600 console, but the one I played the most in my youth was Punch Out on the Nintendo. So, when I saw VanillaBeast: Retro Knock-Out and received a Steam key, I was very eager to give it a go!

VanillaBeast: Retro Knock-Out is a boxing pixeled arcade game developed and self-published by Vanilla Gaming Company on the 29^th of July 2023 on the Steam platform.

The cheeky tone of the game is set in the presentation, and it is quite right that they “have no shame”.  Oh no - surely not, I thought while quietly chuckling to myself Mutley-style. Yes, this is one of those games. And I must say that I like it, I like it a lot! It’s the little things that set the tone, like taking the famous character “Rocky” and replacing the first letter of his name with the third letter (think about it). Or Madison Square Gardens where the word Square has been changed to Bare (what a garden that would be!), and plenty of others. Regarding the story illustrations, they are presented as a comic book, and some images are a bit . . . let’s say raunchy. And no, they're not pixelated. It is a fun and well-thought-out parody, and to be honest, it is refreshing.

So, you will play Vanilla Beast, who was spotted by a braveheart with a heavy Scottish accent, after Vanilla lands a right-left-right combination after an argument at a cabaret. And from that point, it will be all up to you to get Vanilla to the top of the three biggest boxing competitions, known as the VBF, VBA and VBC. Each of these championships has 10 fighters to face. The first eight of each championship will need to be unlocked so you can fight the contender (the ninth fighter) and then the champion.  You’ll start on the VBF, and when you win the title, you unlock VBA, and it is the same jazz for the next one.  But you can re-fight any of the boxers you have already unlocked at any given time.

Before a fight, you’ll be at Vanilla’s apartment, where you can access a few things. You can read a few tips to help understand how the game works, see the unlocked story illustrations and Nickey (Vanilla chick) cards, statistics or have a go at your routine training. There are three types of training sessions. The first is punching bags, in which you replicate a combination of punches and feints. The second is to catch a chicken as fast as possible, and the third is to beat a shark! Yes, you are on the front of a boat, punching a shark in the face. All three training sessions have a specific reward, and you have to train before every fight. I am a big fan of the shark training session because you receive two power punches to start your next fight with as a bonus. But for that to happen, you have to defeat the shark, of course.

The first eight matches of each championship are decided in five rounds, and the contender and champion fight in seven rounds. What I like about this game is that each opponent that I have faced has given a subtle signal before throwing a punch or a combination of punches; it could be a different body movement, showing their teeth, closing their eyes etc. And what I really like is that the pattern or combination of punches changes from one round to the next; I have seen this with all the opponents I have faced so far. Actually, my next fight is for the VBA belt, so at this stage I have fought 19. Well, 20 if I include the fight with Nickey where you have to TKO a famous Southern American Colonel Sand . . . dune (oh, that bloke). So yes, you have to learn their combinations for each round. And that can be quite frustrating at times, especially when it takes you several goes to defeat an opponent. And let’s face it, as good as Vanilla is at boxing, some fights will see you going through all rounds, and the only way to win is by a points decision (one tip - make sure to read the advice of your Scottish coach before each round; it might be helpful).

Vanilla can perform various actions: punches to the opponent's head and body, power punches, feint and block punches. The timing is imperative in this game, and it is crucial that the control inputs are right. And they are very good indeed, but it will take you quite some time to master the controls. It is a challenging but fair and rewarding game, and it will appeal to boxing fans, retro gamers and newcomers. 

Good pixel graphics and soundtrack. Awesome voice-overs, and the game runs really well. VanillaBeast: Retro Knock-Out successfully reflects that gaming era with its challenges, and adds its own unique touch with surprising raunchiness and humour. The price point is fair, as the game has plenty of replayability. Definitely a knock-out for me.

Review written by THE CPT FROGGY for Zeepond.com 

VanillaBeast: Retro Knock-Out! Steam Store Page