Space Cows

Review

Being a farmer is a tough gig. Well, it is certainly tough here in the land of the kangaroos  (interestingly, the kangaroo’s population has surpassed by twice the number of humans living in Australia; there are 50 million of them and 25 million of us; quite a hazard for the farmers).
In another part of the world, there is one particular farmer who has had a most surprising encounter . . .
He received a visit from two men in black who wanted to buy his herd of cows (and especially his pride and joy, named Betsy)! Well, he refused, and as a result, his entire herd was abducted the following night by a strange flying object! After telling his story to the authorities and neighbours, he became the region’s laughing stock. But he loved his cattle so much that he decided to disguise himself as a cow the following night, running around his property like a mad cow so the flying object would come back and take him out of space where his herd is imprisoned. Codename: Space Cows! 

Space Cows is an Indie twin-stick shooter game developed by Happy Corruption and published by All in! Games on the 6^th of September 2019 on Steam. The game is also available on the Nintendo Switch.

Well, here you are! Naked with an astronaut's helmet over your head and another slightly smaller one providing a constant flow of fresh air for your private appendice located right under your belt; and one fart away from rescuing your cows.

The game consists of 7 levels with 3 modes of difficulty, which are the Cheeasy, Normoo and Hardcow. In the Cheeasy difficulty, you’ll have 4 lives at the start of each level, and you can regenerate an extra life every time you collect 200mls of milk.  In the Normoo difficulty you’ll have 3 lives at the start and can add a new life with every 300mls of milk collected, while in the Harcow difficulty you’ll have one life to complete each stage, with no milk collecting.

Your farmer will be floating within this space station equipped with the most sophisticated weapon known to man, a plunger with a boomerang effect (it comes back), to eliminate all mootants that come his way. But on some occasions, he will be drastically outnumbered and will need to move really quickly within the station rooms to avoid losing a life. Luckily for our farmer, he stuffed himself with beans before being abducted, and his body has had enough time to ferment his own personal source of natural gas, which comes in really handy for propelling himself quickly over short distances, as well as to avoid being hit and losing a life in a process. It will take a second to restore another lot of natural gas, and on some occasions, he will be literally a fart away from living or dying!

He can also activate Slow-Motion, which will help him to target and throw his plunger to either hit the aliens or to find the crack between the incoming enemies, then fart and propel himself in slow motion to a safer place in the room. The slow-motion will take longer to regenerate before you can use it again. He can also use the Rage mode. For that to happen, he will need to eliminate a rapid succession of enemies in order to build up the rage gauge located at the top of the screen. When activated, he will be invincible for several seconds, and the plunger will destroy everything in its path.  

In terms of adding another life to your farmer, you’ll need to collect drops of milk floating inside the station. Some drops will be big, thereby providing more mls when collected, but each time you kill an alien, the alien will drop at least one mililitre of milk. Each drop disappears after a short time, so make sure you grab them quickly. Remember that if you decide to play on the Normal difficulty, you’ll need 300mls of milk to add another life to your farmer.

Occasionally, you’ll find a carton of milk in one of the rooms, which will immediately give your farmer an extra life. When you find a cow with a glass helmet just like the one your farmer is wearing, there will be a milk machine somewhere within the room. Then your farmer will need use his unlimited natural gas supply to propel the cow towards the entrance of the machine. This will activate a mini-game, called the Milk Must Flow Show, at the conclusion of which you may receive another carton of milk. It’s hilarious!

Beware of obstacles such as lasers and fires within the levels; they can be useful if you manage to attract Aliens towards them, but you can also lose a life if you touch it.

At the time of writing this review and playing on the Normoo difficulty, let me tell you that, all jokes aside, this game is very challenging indeed, and you’ll be frustrated more than once. I haven’t managed to past the first level on the Hardcow, and I am about to finish the 3^rd level in the Normoo difficulty (and I consider myself pretty good at these types of games).

The graphics are fabulous, as is the soundtrack. The game runs very well, and there are plenty of jokes through the levels. In terms of controls, you can use the mouse and keyboard, but I definitely recommend playing with a gamepad.

Review written by THE CPT FROGGY for Zeepond.com!